So lately my Lillie-Kate is obsessed with death!! I think it's so strange. No one close to us has died recently and none of her little friends (what few she has) have lost anyone either. Within the past two years four of our neighborhood dogs have died, including our own Shazzie, and so I assume this is where this is coming from.
Other then that I have to admit in recent weks the subject of death has come up between my husband and I or on the phone with my mom quite often. My sister-in-laws(sil) mom has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and it is untreatable. I have talked to my husband about it and received updates from my mom on the phone and I know many of these conversations have been in front of her. I am so sad for Dawn(sil) and her family. I know Linda, her mom, from going to my brother's house or from neices and my nephew's bday parties. So I have cried about it and I know I've cried in front of the girls.
The other thing that has recenly happened is a MOPS friend suddenly lost her brother due to a brain anyurism. He was only 29 and obviously it was very unexpected. The subject of Ryan has been brought up several times in front of the girls but not necessarily in direct conversation with the girls.
So anyway she brings up the subject of death often. She comes up to me and will say Mommy I don't want you to die. or I don't want to die, or I don't want anyone I love to die. She'll say I don't want you to go live with Jesus yet I just want you to stay with me!
So my questions are, one: Is this normal? especially given the recent subject matter discussed in my house. How do I approach this? I have told her that I also don't want anyone I love to die and that when we do die we get to live with Jesus and that is an incredible gift but the people we live behind miss us. I don't want to promise her no one will die because you never know what is going to happen.
Second: Is it inappropriate for me to discuss Linda or Ryan in front of the girls? I honestly didn't think much of it. I have tried to explain to the girls what has happend and encouraged them to pray for both families. Am I out of line? I just feel like they need to learn empathy and what their cousins are about to go through is going to be so difficult and I want them to pray for their cousins.
Third: When Linda does pass away what do I say or do with the girls? My decision would be to not take them to the visitation or funeral. They don't know her and I feel like they are too young, they are only 4. But should I explain to them where I am going and why?
I suppose I understand why this is a subject she has brought up a lot lately but I'm not certain how much she understands about death. She never mentions Linda or Ryan but does talk about all the dogs a lot. She will tell random people how Snickers and Lucy died and how Shazzi and Buddy died last year and how it makes her so sad. I guess this is just the first of those deep subjects that will come up in their lives I just wasn't expecting it so early on.